One of the major problems in dealing with toddler tantrums is the angry feelings that are often stirred up in us as parents. We need to remind ourselves that dealing with our own anger is usually something we didn't learn well during our own childhoods. If we were taught that to be angry or to show our anger was to be bad, then we could have strong feelings of guilt and shame about our own expressions of anger.

"Catch" you child doing the right thing and reward positive behavior rather than always focusing on the negative, especially in situations where they are prone to outbursts. For example, say, "Nice job sharing with your friend." This is THE principle behind PBS (Positive Behavior Supports) that public schools are beginning to implement. "You are so busted doing the right thing!"

When your child has a major angry meltdown, is it a temper tantrum or something worse? Some say that there is no such thing as a problem with anger management in children. They say that this is a parental control problem. The child is just allowed to have a tantrum and the parent makes an excuse of anger management issues, these people believe. Others believe that severe angry reactions are the result of a disorder.

If the cause is frustration, say you understand. Show compassion and offer an alternative. It's this or nothing. Dealing with tantrums the right way requires that you are firm but comprehensive. Think "prevention"! Don't go out with your child if he's tired or hungry. Meet his needs before, and then go out. There's always a cause to a tantrum.

Dealing with tantrums is simply teaching them to control their emotions. Sometimes it is better to ignore tantrum behavior and help your children to handle their emotion such as anger and frustration. Also, remain cool and calm. Remember you are teaching them self-control. A good way to learn about the child's anger is through activity oriented games. An anger management counselor through playing games will be able to teach the child positive values and which behavior is acceptable.

Well, we all know (and have probably experienced) the uncontrollable emotions associated with heartbreak: losing the love of a significant person in our lives, or the perception that we have lost, or are losing, the love of that person. For some of us, the prospect of losing the love of a person who we love and need has been the most frightful, distressful experience of our lives.

If the child throws a tantrum anyway, step back, but do not acknowledge the tantrum, and do not continue with any further conversation until he stops. If he stamps his feet and storms out of the room, let him go. Following him, pleading with him to stop, or trying to bargain with him at this point only reinforces his belief that what he is doing is right.

Frustration - either by not being understood as language skills are still being learned, or not being able to do a particular activity like tying buttons. Not getting his or her own way - being refused something is a classic trigger. Whether it is sharing a toy or getting a snack too near to dinner time.


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